Sometimes the experience of having my heart strung between the two realities of great joy and great sorrow leads to a pain that is visceral. I think that this may be inevitable when attempting to live with an open heart, as life is full of such extremes. There is physical pain as well as the pain of loss, broken relationships, so many things that I can't even list them all. There are also the joys of love, beauty, friendship and the list goes on.... All these things literally feel like hooks that have sunk in deeply, pulling this way and that, leaving me both feeling full, present and engaged as well as broken, crumpled and aching. I would not have it any other way, as this is what the essence of life is like. A guarded heart is one that does not taste the fullness of joy and beauty and is numb and senseless. I would rather feel alive but I also wish that the weight of reality was not so heavy. Thankfully the Lord promises to bind my heart and right now I think that that is what I need.
