Dec 24, 2011

Christmas Eve is here again. I have spent this day in several different countries in my life but whever we are this day it is filled with anticipation, anxiety, hope and fear. In the past, when I was younger I had such high hopes that were mingled with fear, because those hopes were often not realized. Now that I am much older, the years have taught me to lower my expectations and to revel in the small things, the continuity and the simplicity of a baby in a manger. Jesus came as a simple warm baby, the way each of us enters the world. Yes there was the fanfare of angels singing, but in that manger there was the smell of hay, animals, and new birth. Small things can be so full of enormous meaning. The candle on the table, the card from friends, the love of a spouse, the pressence of children.

Dec 23, 2011

My dear friend just left and having her here was like wearing a warm sweater, warm and comfortable. These moments are precious in a busy world. Being known and knowing and having that experience produce love, it's the best feeling.

Dec 20, 2011

springs of living water

I love beauty, in all forms, shapes, people, actions, in the meeting of this world with transcendence. It is as though it is a reminder that this world is like living underwater and the cool mossy shores are out there with the light coming shining through, binding together this world and the next. The greater reality is not here, not yet, but it's wonder mercifully breaks through.

Dec 13, 2011

This morning I am laid up in bed. The flu that everyone around me seems to have has finally struck. In this sorry state of mind my head swims with anxiety. I have MS and I have a job with many responsibilities which become overwhelming if I am not well.

I have learned over the years to turn my anxieties into prayers. I talk things out with God, letting him know that my long list of problems need fixing. The more tired I am, the more the list grows like Pinnochio's nose. So I did a dump on God. It's OK though, he has broad shoulders. So after my long rant, I felt convicted that I should do Him the favour of listening back, and I turned to todays reading in my book, Daily Light. And there I heard God's voice so clearly in today, Dec 13 th's reading; "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my right hand" - "Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who have an anxious heart, "Be strong, fear not". Isa 41:10, Isa 35:3,4.

MS has made my right hand weak and my legs feeble! But he will uphold me even when it is hard to hold myself up. Thank you Lord for your promises.