Oct 17, 2013

Solid Rock

"If you don't have solid beliefs you cannot build a stable life. Beliefs are like the foundation of a building, and they are the foundation to build your life upon."

Alfred A. Montapert

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alfredamo158078.html#46vIpFIYU5Cv1EhP.99

Oct 14, 2013

Wentworth Falls

I am  very fortunate to have lived as a kid near this place.This is where I think of as home. My father's ashes were sent over here and I spent many happy hours climbing around these rocks and discovering all it's cool quiet places with my dog. Sadly it is now a top tourist attraction whereas I used to think it was my own private paradise. Still I am glad the world now gets to enjoy it's beauty. I can no longer climb down the stairs that go to the bottom but I can still make it to this viewpoint. I will soon return to this place again when I go to visit my mother.

Oct 13, 2013

There's no place like home...

These are my lovely new slippers that were given to me by a kind friend. She is taking care of me while I recover from the effects of radiation, cooking me meals, taking me on drives, raking the leaves - there is no end to her generosity.

These slippers are apt as I am driven forward by thoughts of home. The plans have fallen wonderfully into place and my whole family is excited with me to get together agian. My sisters have rented a house by the beach in Forster again, we will spend a week on a yacht with my husband's old friends, and will be in the Wentworth Falls with my mother for a week. We also will be in Sydney for a week, so everthing looks perfect for a wonderful time. 

My skin is pretty burnt from the radiation and I am having to change tthe dressings 4 times a day. This isn't fun so dreaming of home is carrying me through this challenging time. There is no place like home.....

Oct 4, 2013

Fallen Ego

I am resting in bed after falling at the clinic in a very public way. As I went down I looked up hoping that no one was watching. It took just a split second before quickly looking at the ground and trying in vain to not hit hard and sprawl on the shiny hard floor. Ah my ego and vanity, obviously they are more important to me than my physical well being. The next thing I knew I was surrounded by hospital employees, lifting me up and getting me a wheel chair, with a crowd of faces checking to see if I was OK. I just wanted to hide in embarrassment but eventually I regrouped enough in order to thank those who were helping so kindly.

Ah, the humiliation I feel when my weaknesses are exposed. Even recounting this experience is making me want to cry. MS and the helplessness it can induce are hard pills to swallow. I feel sure that it would not be quite so hard though if I understood more fully the fact that my value and worth are not only tied to my abilities but are tied primarily to my intrinsic value as a person. I am worthwhile because I am made in the image of God, and I should be more concerned with bringing Him glory than trying to build up my own. My worth is in being His child and His love is all the honour I need. My weakness due to having MS and radiation for cancer is nothing to be ashamed of, I am crazy for letting it make me feel that was.

I AM DONE. Ringing the bell of radiation completion!