Jul 28, 2013

Life with breast cancer

The surgery is over and thankfully they got all the cancer as it hadn't spread. I am now recovering in my own bed and being taken care of by my dear husband and friends. The drugs are making me dizzy and tired and it is good to just take time doing not very much. I have a steep learning curve with breast cancer, there is so much to take in; stages, grades, in situ, the treatments etc. I have been given a large team and lots of information, so no I am processing in all. This takes time as there is not only the cognitive learning, but also the emotional processing. This has to take it's natural course and cannot be forced or avoided, however much I would like to give that a miss. The roller coaster is natural and I am trying to go along for the ride.
The muffled rumblings reach out tendrils from my soul. The words have yet to form, they are preceded by a yearning, an ache, a fear that has not crystallized in the cotton wool that is my brain. 

Denial only lasts so long.

Breast C A N C E R.

The biggest help in all this world of uncertainty is all the love and prayer I have received, it is humbling and heart warming to not feel alone and to know that I am loved. My husband has been right by my side and friends and neighbors have brought food and are praying. I don't know how I would manage without their support and it is a privilege as I know that there are many who go through this alone. There is much to be thankful for and it is interesting how this seems so evident when  things are also so hard. Goodness is brought into relief by the shadows, darkness shows up how bright light is, like the contrast setting being set on high.
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