I saw my Neurologist today and was once again reminded that I am on a downhill slope, despite my best attempts at denial. I have many lesions on the spine and I am moving into the progressive form of the disease. Now I need to find the energy to re-adjust to a new routine, and to face new limitations. I know I should be thankful for all the prayer and support that I receive, but right now I just need to say that this sucks and I hate it. It makes me feel so lonely and isolated, not being able to keep up and fit in. At least I know that God feels and understands my pain too.
Sometimes the tiredness just robs me of the will to make an effort, but I have to remember that weakness is not something to be ashamed of. This feeling will pass after a while and there will be good times along the way, in the not yet, but someday. I think I need to just close my eyes.
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